So...

There are a lot of things going on in my life right now. Sorta. Mostly cubing stuff. And not so much "a lot" of things as...like...3. Anyway, the point is, it's not helping. Anyone who knows me would think I'm happier. I'm not. Distractions make it easier to pretend, but it doesn't change the fact that every night I cry myself to sleep. It doesn't change the fact that inside the pain is still there. It doesn't change the feeling I get because nobody has ever felt about me the way I've felt about a few people in my life. I don't think I'll ever be anything but a good friend. It's not an encouraging thought.

xkcd

Today my beef is with Randall Munroe, author of xkcd. I know he loves his girlfriend and all, but that doesn't mean that he needs to make EVERY COMIC about love. I used to enjoy reading xkcd, but not any more. I swear, he must just insert romantic references into everything he makes just to piss off us lonely people. Like this, which is actually from his blog:

He's talking about the strength of his new electric skateboard. It's almost as strong as a horse, apparently. So he makes a diagram of a man having a tug of war with a small horse. See how quickly it goes wrong?


Add that on to the fact that I saw an old friend today and he asked me how my GIRLFRIEND and I were doing. My answer was "not. Since exactly one year ago today."

Shit. Exactly one year ago today. ;____;

Music...

Music seems to all be written to spite me. Why is it that 99% of the songs they play where I work are about love? Oh. Because it's not just where I work. 99% of songs are about love.

You'd think that for a metalhead like me it wouldn't be as much of a problem. But it is. I would post a few random songs from my playlist and compare ratios, etc, but I just realized that all my music is gone. Shit. Well, suffice to say, it's the majority of the music I used to have. And it normally doesn't bother me, but these days, it's hitting me like a rock.

I wish I didn't love music so much. Or maybe I just wish I wasn't so lonely.

Hmm

I think I want to start writing blogs. I need to get some of this shit out of my system. I'm tired of telling a bunch of people who really don't want to hear it, I'm sure. Anyway, this is mostly going to be some emo ranting when I'm feeling down, but it needs to be done. If you read it, comment, or something. Let me know. That way I won't feel so unloved.